Turned On - I’m Bringing Sexy Back

This is an excerpt from Robb’s first sermon in the Turned On series. If you would like the text of the entire sermon, email vintagefellowship@gmail.com to request it.

Sex talks can happen in unexpected place.

Like my kitchen.

I was fourteen years old. I was making myself a bowl of cereal. My dad walks in and says, “Robb, God made Adam and Eve. If you have any questions, you can ask me.” And then he turned and walked out of the kitchen. I distinctly remember thinking, “I just got my sex talk.” Sex talks can happen in unexpected places.

Like a theater in a mall.

So let’s pick up where my dad left off. He was certainly on the right track, but he didn’t give me the whole story. Let’s see if we can find some truth from the whole story to counteract the locker room lies we hear from our culture as well as the half-truths the church has told us too.

Genesis 1-2 tells the story of story of God creating the heavens and the earth and filling them with birds and bees and roses and shooting stars and dolphins and man and woman. Over and over again in a chapter one, God looks at what he has made and he pronounces it “good.”

- 1.4 – God saw that the light was good.
- 1.10 – God saw that the land and the seas were good.
- 1.12 – God saw that the vegetation was good.
- 1.18 – God saw that the sun, moon, and stars were good.
- 1.21 – God saw that the fish and the birds were good.
- 1.25 – God saw that the animals were good.

Let’s pick up reading in 1.26. Notice the end. It was very good. Man and woman. Male and female. Together. In the image of God. Blessed by God. Fruitful. Multiplying. Filling the earth. Having sex. Very good.

Let’s just pause for a moment and make two simple observations. First, whenever we – guys in a locker room or viewers watching a sitcom or our culture as a whole – communicates that sex is no big deal, we are out of step with God. His design for us as people is that sex is a special aspect of what it means to be human in the image of God. And, second, whenever we – the church, parents, or anyone else for that matter – communicate through our words or attitudes that sex is a gross and ungodly but necessary evil, we are out of step with God. It is good, very good, in his estimation.

Chapter two of Genesis focuses in on some of the details of how God did all of this in chapter one. God plants a garden. We call it the Garden of Eden. And he makes a man from the dust of the ground. We call him Adam. And God places him in the garden, saying that he should take care of it but not eat fruit from that one tree. I want you to notice what God also says in 2.18, “It is not good.” Wait a minute. Chapter one is good, good, good, good, very good. And now in chapter two, not good. It’s not good that Adam is alone. And God want to prove it to Adam. So he parades all of the animals before Adam for him to name them, which he does. But this just leaves Adam lonely for he realizes that he hasn’t found something that is “suitable” for or compatible with him. I mean, where is eharmony.com when a guy needs it? Let’s read 2.21-25.

So God makes Adam a wife. He makes someone who is a suitable helper, one who corresponds to him, one who is compatible with him, one to whom he can say, “You complete me.” Her flesh and bone match up with his. Eve is strong where he is weak and weak where he is strong. They fit – spiritually, emotionally, physically.

We can’t miss the editorial footnote at the end of this paragraph. It is for this reason – this compatibility, this connection – that a man leaves his own family and begins a whole new one with his wife. Their union as husband and wife – their marriage – provides the context for how they relate spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

And herein is a great truth for us – We were created as sexual beings with a deep longing for connection.

The etymology of the word sex brings this to mind. The word comes from the Latin, with an idea of separating. It’s related to words like section and sect. But in the act of sex, what was separated now is reunited. In a physical act, Eve was separated from Adam when God took his rib. She exited him in a sense. And in the physical act of sex, they are reconnected as he enters her. In the words of Genesis, the two become one.

Sexual energy, sexual desire, sexual passion is an expression of this deep longing within us. We want to be, need to be loved and accepted and understood. We were created to know and be known. There is that joke, “I know her in the biblical sense.” The word biblical Hebrew word “to know” is the word yada, as in Elaine’s expression for sex on Seinfeld, “yada, yada, yada.” We were created to know and be known. We were created for relationships.

Let me say this to you single people that are here today. I know that you may feel like your sexual energy and desire and passion is high. And I know that you are tempted to seek a way to release it. Remember that God’s design here is for sex to take place in the context of a marriage. But your sexual energy is still a good and God-given part of who you are. Let me encourage you to channel that energy into deep and meaningful friendships, into community, into the kind of relationships that foster love and peace and goodness in our world. For so many singles, their sex drives isolate them – alone in front of a computer screen, alone in a club, alone after a one night stand. Sexuality is not designed to isolate us but to connect us to our world. Both Jesus and Paul talked about how good it was to be single because of the unique opportunity it gives you to focus your energies on making the world more like God intends it to be. And that happens through the connection of relationships.

This truth that we are created as sexual beings leads us to another truth. And it is this – Sexuality and spirituality are intimately intertwined.

Notice 2.25, “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Later in chapter 3, God will arrive in the Garden to walk and talk with them, as is apparently their custom. Do you know what that means? It means they were naked with God.

Another way we could say that sexuality and spirituality are intimately intertwined is this, “My sex life is about my life with God.” God is present in your bedroom. I don’t know about you, but that kind of weirds me out a little bit. But that doesn’t make it any less true. What I do with another person, I do before God. My spiritual life and sex life are connected in a way that cannot be divorced.

Adam and Eve are naked and unashamed. They were sexually and spiritually clean and pure. But it did not stay that way. They believed some lies that were told to them, like we are prone to do. And they ate from the tree God told them not to. But the lie doesn’t deliver. It rarely does. And all of sudden, they look at themselves and each other in a much different light. Let’s pick up in 3.7-12.

Immediately, when something goes bad spiritually for them, something goes bad sexually. The two are intimately intertwined. They can’t be naked with each other any more. They can’t be naked with God anymore. They are now ashamed, scared, defensive, and self-conscious.

This interconnectedness of sexuality and spirituality can reflect both the good and the bad.

Let’s talk about the bad first. Think about some words we associate with sex: perverted or perversion, deviant, immoral, indecent, lewd. All of these terms indicate that we have some sense that sexuality can be expressed in a negative way, in a way that is improper, in a way that is simply not the way it’s supposed to be. Another word we could use is “sin.”

Adam and Eve sinned by stepping outside of God’s design for them. And it wasn’t pretty. Whenever we step outside of God’s design for us – sexually or otherwise – it can have some pretty steep consequences.

If you’re in that boat today, I don’t have to convince you, and I am not here to condemn you. Rather, I am here to give you hope. Look at what God does for Adam and Eve. They are naked and full of shame. They try to cover up and hide, but they do it in a way that is inadequate and makes them look silly. So, in 3.21, God makes them clothes out of skins. Clothes that will last. Clothes that fit. He meets their need with grace and forgiveness. And in doing so, he foreshadows his grace in it’s greatest expression – Jesus. Jesus lived a perfect life and died a death he didn’t deserve so that we could be forgiven of our shame and clothed in his grace. If you look at your sex life and can sense from its condition that there is something wrong with your spiritual life, I want to urge you to look to Jesus. If you will trust him with your life and turn it over to him, he’ll forgive you and make you new and help you start fresh. If you’ve got questions about that or need someone to talk to, Aaron and I and our wives, would love to chat with you more about it.

Sexuality and spirituality are intimately intertwined. So let’s talk about the good. Sexuality at its best can be a means through which we can reflect what God is like. God made us in his image, which means we were created to be a mirror or a picture of him. And since, sexuality and spirituality are so related to each other that means that how I live as a sexual being says something about how God lives. So maybe I ought to take my cues about what sex ought to be like, not from what sitcom relationships are like or from what porn is like or from what old wives’ tales say sex is like, but from what God is like.

Since the boys are partying during the big game, the ladies are getting together to comiserate and watch the commercials.  Join us at Judy Peterman’s home at 5:30 for a fabulous time!

Guys, it’s our turn to party.  Bring enough of your favorite beverage to share and your favorite snack to the Marshall’s home and we’ll enjoy fellowship during the big game.  We’ll start around 5:30. There will be chili and chips with queso galore.

Open the Eyes of my Heart-Paul Baloche: www.paulbaloche.com 

Famous One-Chris Tomlin: www.christomlin.com 

Grace Rains Down-Todd Agnew: www.toddagnew.com 

Doxology-Traditional 

Your Love is Extravagant-Darrell Evans: www.integritymusic.com